Read The Healing with Teeling Blog

Welcome to the Healing with Teeling Blog your go-to space for guidance, support, and inspiration if you’re navigating heartbreak, betrayal, or the challenges of dating again.

Here, you’ll find practical tips, personal stories, and expert advice on healing after heartbreak, rebuilding self-worth, and attracting healthy love.

Whether you’re trying to move on from a past relationship, trust again after being cheated on, or break old patterns that keep bringing the wrong men into your life, these posts are designed to give you clarity, confidence, and actionable steps forward.

Explore the blog and start your journey to self-discovery, empowerment, and love that truly works.

How to break free of relationship patterns

Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns (And How to Break Free)

July 24, 20264 min read

Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns (And How to Break Free)

Have you ever found yourself thinking...

"Why do I keep attracting the wrong men?"

Maybe every relationship starts with hope but ends in disappointment.

Maybe you keep meeting emotionally unavailable partners.

Maybe you lose yourself trying to make someone choose you.

Or perhaps you've decided it's just easier to stay single than risk getting hurt again.

If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know something.

There is nothing wrong with you.

The problem isn't that you're too much, not enough, or somehow broken.

The problem is that you're repeating subconscious relationship patterns.

And until those patterns change, your relationships rarely do.

What Are Relationship Patterns?

Relationship patterns are automatic behaviours, thoughts and emotional reactions that happen without you even realising.

They're driven by beliefs your subconscious formed years ago.

You didn't choose them.

You learned them.

Every experience you've had, from childhood through to past relationships, has taught your subconscious what love is supposed to feel like.

If you've experienced rejection, betrayal, abandonment or inconsistency, your subconscious creates beliefs to protect you.

Beliefs such as:

• I have to earn love.
• People always leave.
• I can't trust anyone.
• I'm only lovable if I keep everyone happy.
• It's safer not to need anyone.

The difficult part is that your subconscious doesn't care whether those beliefs make you happy.

It only cares whether they keep you safe.

Why You Keep Attracting the Same Type of Partner

Your subconscious is always looking for evidence that your beliefs are true.

If you believe all men leave...

You'll notice every sign that confirms it.

If you believe you have to prove your worth...

You'll find yourself overgiving in relationships.

If you believe you're safer alone...

You'll struggle to let people get close.

Without realising it, you'll continue creating experiences that reinforce what you already believe.

It's not because you're unlucky.

It's because your subconscious is following familiar patterns.

Awareness Is Only the Beginning

Many women I work with have already done a lot of personal development.

They've read the books.

They've listened to podcasts.

They understand attachment styles.

They know their triggers.

But awareness alone doesn't create change.

If your subconscious still believes love is dangerous, it will keep steering you back towards what's familiar.

Real transformation happens when those beliefs begin to change.

The BeYou Method

This is exactly why I created my signature coaching framework, the BeYou Method.

It helps women stop repeating unhealthy relationship patterns by changing what is happening beneath the surface.

B: Become Aware

You can't change something you don't understand.

Together we uncover what you truly want, identify what's keeping you stuck and bring your subconscious patterns into your awareness.

E: Explore Your Patterns

We explore your attachment style, limiting beliefs, childhood experiences and relationship history.

Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?"

You begin asking,

"What happened that taught me to believe this?"

That shift changes everything.

Y: Your Breakthrough

This is where lasting change begins.

Using NLP, subconscious belief change, nervous system regulation and emotional healing, we replace old beliefs with new ones that support the life and relationships you actually want.

Instead of believing:

"I'll always be abandoned."

You begin believing:

"I am safe."

"I am worthy."

"I don't need to earn love."

O: Own Your Power

As your beliefs change, so does your behaviour.

You stop chasing.

You stop settling.

You trust yourself again.

You communicate your needs.

You set healthy boundaries without guilt.

Confidence becomes something you feel, not something you pretend to have.

U: Unleash the Real You

This final stage isn't about becoming someone new.

It's about becoming more yourself.

The version of you who knows what she wants.

The version who no longer abandons herself to keep someone else happy.

The version who naturally attracts healthier relationships because she's no longer trying to become someone she's not.

Healthy Love Starts With You

Many women think they need dating advice.

Most don't.

What they really need is to reconnect with themselves.

Because when you become more you...

You attract more of what you truly want.

Healthy relationships aren't created by finding the perfect partner.

They're created by becoming the version of yourself who no longer settles for less than she deserves.

Ready to Break Your Relationship Patterns?

If you've recognised yourself in this blog, this is your invitation to stop repeating the same cycle.

Start by taking my free Love Archetype Quiz to discover the subconscious pattern that's influencing your relationships.

Take the quiz here.

If you're ready to create lasting change, book an Empowerment Session.

Together we'll uncover what's keeping you stuck and create a personalised plan to help you build the calm, secure relationship you deserve.

Book your Empowerment Session here.

relationship patternshow to break relationship patternswhy do I keep attracting the wrong menemotionally unavailable menhealthy relationshipsrelationship coachingself-worth in relationshipshealing after heartbreakThe BeYou Methodemotional healingattachment styles in relationshipsemotional wellbeinglove blocking archetypesunhealthy relationship patternssubconscious relationship patternsbreak relationship patternsdating patternsrelationship beliefslimiting beliefs in relationshipsrelationship anxietywhy am I still singleattract healthy lovestop repeating relationship mistakesrelationship traumarelationship mindsetsecure relationshipswhy do I always end up in unhealthy relationshipshow subconscious beliefs affect relationshipshow to break unhealthy relationship patternswhy do I lose myself in relationshipswhy do I keep choosing the wrong partnerhow to create healthy relationships after heartbreakhow to heal relationship patternswhy am I still single even though I've done the workBeYou Method relationship coachingBeYou Method for healthy relationshipsThe BeYou Method helps women break relationship patternsRachel Teeling relationship coachHealing with TeelingRelationship Coach UKRelationship Coach for WomenBreak relationship patterns with the BeYou Methodhy do I keep attracting the wrong men
blog author image

Rachel Teeling

Rachel Teeling is a certified Life Coach and NLP Practitioner specialising in toxic relationship recovery. After experiencing a devastating breakup and healing from years of emotional trauma, she now empowers Women to Break Free, Heal Deeply, Attract Healthy Love & Rebuild their lives. Through her transformational 1:1 coaching, membership community The Heal and Thrive Tribe, and her podcast Healing with Teeling, Rachel helps women break free from unhealthy patterns and step into their power.

Back to Blog

I was stuck and tired of dating men who were emotionally unavailable. I had been through a divorce a few years back and until I worked with Rachel 1:1 I did not realise how the divorce had affected my beliefs about men and relationships. We unpicked all my limiting beliefs and reframed my boundaries. Dating started to be fun again.

Charlotte

The timeline & reframing sessions have been so powerful for me & I feel like I have turned a corner & am walking towards a bright new future.

When I started with Rachel, I was stuck in the past

ruminating about imaginary conversations & going over things I wish had done differently. I was exhausted.

The timeline work reminded me of who I am & what I want for my Life - regardless of who I am in a relationship with. I am feeling happier for longer periods of the day & I can see a way forward & a life waiting for me when I'm ready

Maz

Want to learn more about my coaching and be kept up to date with all my offers? 

Sign up for the LOVE list below! 

Get in touch
with us

  • 07942 394063

Copyright 2025. All rights reserved