From Who You Thought You Had to Be to Who You Truly Are
From Who You Thought You Had to Be
to Who You Truly Are.
The “Badass Bitch” Identity
Let’s talk about the woman who has it all together.
She’s confident, capable, independent — the one who never asks for help because she doesn’t need anyone.
She’s the “badass bitch” who’s built her life on strength and survival.
But deep down… she’s tired.
She wants love.
She wants connection.
She wants to be seen, held, supported but those walls she’s built feel impossible to bring down.
If that’s you, I see you. Because I’ve been her too.
That identity, the strong, independent woman, served its purpose.
It kept you safe. It helped you survive heartbreak, disappointment, and betrayal.
But it’s not who you truly are.
And it’s not who you have to keep being.
The Version of Me I Became
In my last relationship, I became the version of myself that my ex wanted me to be.
It happened slowly, little by little, until one day, I realised I didn’t recognise myself anymore.
From the outside, my life looked perfect.
Designer bags.
Fancy makeup.
Luxury holidays.
A big flashy white wedding just weeks away.
Everyone thought I was living the dream.
But inside, something felt off.
I didn’t want to change my name.
I didn’t want to give up parts of myself to fit into the picture-perfect life I thought I should want.
And here’s the part that says it all, my ex hated the beach and the sea. All those fancy holidays were at fancy hotels with perfect poolsides!
Now? The sea is where I feel most alive.
It’s where I breathe. It’s where my soul feels free.
Those simple things, the ones that weren’t available to me before, are now what bring me the most joy.
I wouldn’t even consider getting married now, not because I’m against it, but because I no longer need it to define my worth.
That’s the power of an identity shift.
Discomfort as a Guide
Even now, I still notice when something doesn’t feel right, that quiet discomfort that whispers, this isn’t for you anymore.
Recently, I went to a red carpet premiere for a documentary I feature in.
It was inspiring and empowering to be part of something so special.
But as soon as my train entered London, chaos hit.
Euston was evacuated due to a hoax terror attack.
There were crowds, sirens, bright lights, and a lot of energy.
By the time I reached Leicester Square, I felt completely overwhelmed.
I loved parts of the night, but the discomfort was there — loud and clear.
And I’ve learned that discomfort isn’t always a bad thing.
Sometimes it’s showing you what’s not meant for you anymore.
Sometimes it’s nudging you out of your comfort zone to help you grow.
For me, that night made it clear that the bright lights and the city energy aren’t where I feel at home.
I’ve shifted.
My peace looks different now.
What This Means for You
So many of my clients come to me wearing the same mask I used to wear.
They look like they have it all together — career, independence, confidence.
They over-give, over-achieve, and overcompensate.
A bright lip and mascara can hide a lot of tired eyes.
But underneath, they’re exhausted and lonely.
They crave connection, but they’re attracting the same unavailable people over and over again.
Because here’s the truth:
You don’t attract what you want.
You attract what you are.
If your identity is rooted in “I have to do it all myself,” you’ll keep meeting people and situations that make you do exactly that.
But when you shift your identity — when you soften, open up, and reconnect with your authentic self — everything changes.
Real Transformation Looks Like This
When my clients work with me, they don’t just find love - they find themselves.
And from there, the magic unfolds.
Here’s what I’ve seen them create after doing this work:
Career & Education:
Promotions (including one client who became a Deputy Head Teacher).
Brand new career paths that align with who they really are.
Returning to university to follow personal passions, like Art History.
Lifestyle & Empowerment:
Buying or selling homes to match their next chapter.
Creating strong boundaries with exes.
Rebuilding self-worth, confidence, and independence.
Learning to say no without guilt — and yes to themselves.
Love & Relationships:
Healthy, secure partnerships.
Engagements and weddings that feel right.
Beautiful co-parenting relationships.
Freedom from unhealthy attachment cycles.
These things don’t happen by luck, they happen when you start believing you’re worthy of the life you truly desire.
When you say no to what drains you, and yes to what fills you.
When you create space for joy, peace, and love that feels easy.
That’s what identity work does.
You don’t need to chase love, success, or validation — or prove your worth to anyone.
When you step into who you really are, everything meant for you finds its way to you.
If you’re ready to uncover the identity shift you need to attract the love, life, and relationships you truly desire…
✨ Book your Empowerment Call today, and let’s unlock the version of you who attracts it all simply by being you.
